


Forget me not

by Broadway_bicon



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz (Two River Cast) RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anxiety, Bisexual Jeremy Heere, Crying, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Gay Michael, Heavy Angst, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Insecure Michael, M/M, Panic Attacks, Sad, Self-Harm, Suicidal Thoughts, Wow
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-10-06
Packaged: 2019-07-08 10:06:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broadway_bicon/pseuds/Broadway_bicon
Summary: Jermey's arms are littered with flowers; Michael's are littered with scars.An AU where flowers pop up where your soul mate gets hurt





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fic so let meh no if you like :b  
> Also, give me some constructive criticism plzzzz

Jeremy awoke and sat up abruptly, coated in a cold sweat. Something was off. He felt wrong. He looked down at himself, running his eyes over his old oversized shirt Michael had given him, which was now being used as pajamas. He glanced around the dark room, half of it illuminated in the moonlight. Nothing was out of the ordinary:his dressers where neat, nothing was on his floor and his cat whizzer was sleeping in his cat tree by the closet. The alarm clock next to him read 2:36. 

He checked himself over again, then looked outside. His bed was right next to the widow, which gave his a perfect view of his backyard. The apple tree that had grown tall against the to story house was swaying slightly and the pitter-patter of rain soothed his still racing heart. He spent a few more moments looking out into the darkness, focussing on the raindrops forming on the glass. 

He brought his hand up to rumple his curly locks, when he felt it again. He squealed in surprise and swiftly pulled his hand away. There was a sharp pain almost like a paper cut, shooting up the underside of his forearm. He turned his arm over and ran his finger over the smooth, soft skin. He didn't feel anything. He ran his hands over it again, slower this time. His fingertips brushed over something small and soft, and the sharp pain bounced back. 

Jeremy winced and inhaled sharply. He tenderly touched the soft object, too scared to look down at it. It was small, feeling like the size of a penny, and soft; it was almost velvety. He pulled at it. Jeremy gasped. He heated pain rose in him, making him double over and tears to sting his eyes. What is that. After the pain cleared he felt the area again. It was still there. Panic started to well up in his throat.

What the fuck is it? 

He couldn't take it anymore. He turned on his bedside lamp, its warm golden glow clashing with the moons silver light. He took a deep breath, then looked down. 

What the actually fuck? 

There were small, blue and violet flowers growing in 3 straight, single file lines just below his wrist. Jeremy looked down in terror, not quite believing what he was seeing. He has to be dreaming. Over taken by curiosity and fear, he studied it closer. Upon closer inspection, he saw it was forget my not, his and michaels favorite flower. He admired how beautiful the petals were and how the bright yellow eye in the center contrasted with the dark hues. Well, he did until he he had a fucking garden growing out of his arm.  
Something in jeremy's mind clicked, and he sprang out of his bed. On the floor, he looked up at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the fuck is going on. He brought his hand up to his face, shaking violently. As he stared at it, the pain came again.

A small, dark blue flower popped its head out of Jeremy's smooth, pale skin. More followed in a straight line. That was it for Jeremy. He got up and started pacing. What was he going to do. He could look it up, but his hand was shaking too much to type a single word. He could go tell his dad, though he knew he wouldn't know what to do either. He paced and paced, feeling knew flowers sprout up ever so often.

After about an of hour of endless panic and pacing, he decided to do the only thing appropriate to do in this situation; call Michael


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you sO FRIGGING MUCh for liking my last chapter. Ut really made me happy. 
> 
> Sorry this chapter seems a little rushed but whatever.
> 
> TW for self harm. Stay safe kids

Hey! If I didn't answer I'm either either sleeping, playing videos games or high. Or playing video games high. Or I just don't want to talk to you. Anyway, leave a message and I'll get back bro!

Michael’s carefree voice rang out from Jeremy's off brand phone for the third time. Jeremy lay on the floor, lost in thought. Michael had told him about it a long time ago, maybe in 6th grade, that a rare phenomenon was sweeping the world. Apparently, Michael had learned from one of his documentaries that flowers had been blooming on people's bodies when their husband of wife got hurt. It was everywhere. People with partners would find that the became petaled by someone else's pain, and people would find their soulmates by looking at the places their flowers had been. Their was even a man who was found choked by weeds, hours after another about 15 minutes away had killed himself. 

Jeremy knew what this meant. Somewhere, the one he loved was in pain. Somewhere, his future lover was painting their arms with a blade. He didn't know how to feel about this. He had never had an experience like this, and he never thought it would happen. Sure a petal popped up from a scraped knee or slight burn, but he never thought it would be like this. The flowers kept creeping up jeremy's arms like vines, inflicting bright stinging sensations every few minutes. It was overwhelming.   
He glanced at the clock. 3:47. Knowing Michael, he had to be up. He rarely slept at all, and the earliest he's every gone to bed was 5:00. So why wasn't he answering. The phone beeped, beckoning him to leave a message. Jeremy waited a few seconds, the spoke. “ Hey man,” Jeremy's voice was a hoarse whisper, “ I-umm… I think the flower thing is h-hapening and I uh.. I- Do you know what to do? Um. Get back to me please. B-bye.”

He reached his good arm over and pressed the bright red button. He then rolled over to his side and picked up his phone. His hands were still shaking violently, making it almost impossible to text. Still, he tried.

Player 2 - hey, i am relly ducing scarde right kow. givve me a call plzzzz

Jeremy winced, dropped his phone and looked down. The flowers-which were covering almost his entire forearm- had began sprouting in a strange formation. He watched as they poked out. One by one, they slowing started to form a letter. L. 

Jeremy decided that this was too far. He got up and put on some old sweat pants. If Michael wasn't going to help him here, he was going to have to go to Michael. His heart was pounding painfully in his ears as he tore out of his room. He ran past his father’s room, in which he could here light snoring. Hopefully, he would be back before his Dad awoke. He half fell down the stairs, grabbed his raincoat, and flew out side.   
The cool, moist air hit him while rain slowly soaked his clothes. The rain made the heat from the flowers diminish, but Jeremy doubted that was good for him. He put on his coat, which was extremely uncomfortable, and started walking. 

Michael's house was just a few streets away. Jeremy wondered if this was a good idea, if he should just go back inside and tell his dad. But he knew that Michael as the only one he could talk to about this. He had seen Michael's flowers (which happened to be forget me nots as well) and knew that he knew what to do. Michael was also the only one he could trust in a time like this. Jeremy looked down, watching his old crocs as he walked on. 

Soon, he came to Michael’s house. Michael basically lived alone since his moms where always at business trips or meetings. He knocked on the door using their secret code they had made up in 3rd grade. No answer. Jeremy saw Michael’s old PT cruiser in the driveway, so he must have been home. He knocked again. Nothing. Jeremy was starting to grow frantic. 

He rung the doorbell. Why wouldn't he open the door? He pulled out his phone, and called his player one. This time, it didn't even ring before going to voicemail. Really? Was he just ignoring him. Jeremy was starting to get annoyed. There were fucking flowers growing out of his arm because the mysterious love of his life who he doesn't know his cutting themselves and playing scrabble on their arm and Michael was ignoring him. That’s just great. 

Jeremy reached under the wet doormat and pulled out the key. He jiggled the door knob and, surprisingly, the door opened. It was unlocked? Michael never left the door unlocked. Jeremy's stomach suddenly clenched with dread. What if something had happened? 

Jeremy pushed through the door and put the key down on the nearest table. Hopefully someone would find it. He wiped of his feet and took off his coat. He looked at his arm and was surprised to find the flowers and formed to new letters: an O and a S. What the fuck? Jeremy took a deep breath and went up to Michael’s room. He knocked on the door lightly “Micha?” Yet again, no answer.

Jeremy pressed his ear to the door, well aware of how creepy he looked. But he didn't care. He could hear the sound of running water from the bathroom connected to Michael’s room. He was probably just taking a shower. At 4:00 in the morning. But, Michael had done weirder. The pain, in which Jeremy had grown used to, popped up again. He looked down to find the flowers forming another letter:E.

Jeremey pulled his gaze back to the door. His stomach was in knots and his throat was raw. He knocked again louder. When he was greeted with silence again he decided that he didn't really care about what Michael was doing, he just needed to talk to him. “Michael, i’m coming in.” He opened the door slightly. Michael's room was always a mess, but never like this.

Crystal pepsi and Mountain Dew Red cans and bottles were littered across the floor, along with cheeto bags and candy wrappers. His stack VHS tapes was toppled over and his video game controllers were batteryless. His bed was unmade, all the little stuffed animals he had kept on the floor. Jeremy walked in, and heard the water immediately stop. “Micah,” he called out. He walked over to the door and opened it. 

“Wait!” Michael's voice was strained and urgent, laced with something thick and cold. However, it was too late. The swung open. Jeremey mouth dropped open at the scene before him. Michael was sitting on the floor, eyes wide. His hair was a mess and his glasses were askew. His cheeks were wet and his clothes were soaked with tears and blood. Jeremy could not stop staring at Michaels arm. It was covered in blood and cuts. So many, Jeremy didn't think he could count. 

Michael's arms were shaking and his sobs filled the room. Jeremy couldn't take his eyes off of Michael’s fucking arm. Underneath all the blood, jeremy could make out a word, LOSER. He dropped to the ground, shocked. He felt the pain come back, but he didn't need to look down to know what it said.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, i have decided that Micheal is a Nintendo  
>  switch
> 
> P.s, happy times will be coming soon :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Over use of the word sob?  
> More likely than you think ;)

“Jeremy, I’m sorry, it’s not what it looks like, i didn’t mean to hurt you, i am just a mess, I’m so sorry, just leave, I..” Michael’s sobs rang in Jeremy's ears, hurting his head. What was going on. He looked up at Michael, who was absolutely distraught. 

Fat tears were falling down his caramel face, and clothes were reddening with blood stains. Jeremy pushed through the swarm of thoughts clouding his mind and stood up. Michael sobs grew louder. He looked a mess. Jeremy slowly walked over to him. Michael curled his arms around himself and ducked his head. “Just leave”, he bellowed. His sobs racked his body so violently that jeremy was afraid he would pass out. Still, he bent down, so he could be eye level with the bloodied mess that was his friend.

He reached out and touched Michael lightly on the shoulder. Michael curled deeper into himself, through his cries softened slightly. “I am so sorry.” Michael choked the words out, like he was pained by every syllable he spoke. “I-I’m just a fucking loser and i just thought t-that you would be a lot happier if I- If I just went away, you know?” Jeremy nodded. 

Tears fell down his cheeks as he saw Michael collapse in front of him. Why hadn't he’d know? Jeremy shushed Michael gently, stroking his hair. Jeremy couldn’t think about the flowers, or that Michael was his soul mate, Or that it was almost morning and they had school in a few hours. He just needed to help Michael. Jeremy wrapped his arms around his hunched figure, feeling him tense up. 

He pulled Michael close to him so he was almost on his lap, and just held him there. Michael slowly relaxed and leaned into the embrace. He became quieter, sniffing and hiccuping softly into the other boy's shirt. They stayed like this for who knows how long, and Jeremy didn't care. He felt safe and warm even though he was covered in blood and tears. He patted Michael's back, listening to the lullaby of crickets echoing through the small bathroom. He softly hummed his own lullaby his mother had sung to him. He didn't know the words and he didn’t even know if they were english, but it didn't matter. The valley's and curves of the soft notes had made him feel safe and calm; he wanted Michael to feel the same.

 

Eventually Jeremy released Michael and wiped away his tears. He grabbed his hands and lifted them up, inspecting the cuts running up his arm. Though none of them were deep, they could still get infected really easily. “Come on, let's clean you up", Jeremy whispered. Michael winced slightly then nodded, allowing Jeremy to pull him to his feet. Jeremy led him Michael to the sink, turned on the water and put his arms in the sink. He winced as the skin around the flowers stung, and was sure Michael felt the same pain. He wished he didn't. 

“Where’s your first aid kit?,” Jeremy asked. Michael pointed to the mirror above them. Jeremy opened it and pulled out the bandages. He took Michael's arm and bandaged it carefully. Neither of them spoke a word, but what could they say?

Jeremy had just found out his best friend of almost 14 years was his soulmate. He was going to grow old with him, maybe have children with him. He couldn't wrap his mind around it. What about Christine? He thought she was the one, his soulmate. He never felt more confused. Michael’s voice derailed his train of thought. 

“So,um… you just have to cut the flowers to, get rid of them.” Jeremy nodded, finishing Michael’s arm. He stepped back and looked at him. Michael wouldn't meet his eyes. He was blushing bright red, shifting from foot to foot. “How long have you know that i.. that ,um, i was the.. the one..?” Michael’s eyes widen and his blush deepened. “Um, awhile i guess…. Maybe since 8th grade..” Jeremy sighed, thinking about all the moments they had shared together since then. He couldn't believe he had been so oblivious. All the times Michael had told him to not get with Christine, the way he blushed when they shotgunned. No wonder he was hurting himself, Jeremy was basically torturing him.

Jeremy looked up into Michael's deep brown eyes. How could he not have noticed the light fading from them? He acted the same, sure, but Jeremy always felt something was off. But he didn't do anything about it. “Michael, why did you do this to yourself?” Jeremy's voice was harsher the he had anticipated, and his heart sank as he saw Michael flinch at it. “I… It was just that i was thinking back to the-that night and i was just thinking like.. i am a loser and you are going to find that out soon and leave me and i will be all alone so what's the point of anything? I love you.” 

 

Jeremy's heart did a weird flip. He didn't know how to respond. He just thought that he never realized how long Michael’s lashes were. “Oh my god, i am so sorry", Michael rambled. “ I know your straight and i know that you dating Christine and all that and i know that you will never love me and all that but the flowers and stiff i just thought… i just thought that-" Jeremy put his finger to Michael’s lips, trying to ignore how soft they were.

“Hush,” he cooed, “ We will figure this out, but first i need you to promise me that you will never, ever, ever hurt yourself again.” Jeremey could see Michael's eyes glaze over with tears. “I-I… I’ll try.” Jeremy removed dropped his hand and turned his arm over. “Thank you. I’m always right there if you need me. Never forget that.”

Michael smiled, making jeremy's stomach flutter. “I, uh.. I still need to get rid of these flowers before school starts.” He saw Micheal blush. “I am so sorry about that. I um, I have so scissors in the kitchen.” Michael made his way out of the small bathroom. Jeremy followed. His mind felt like play dough. Everything had happened so fast, he was half convinced it was a dream. He glanced at Michael navigating his way through his messy room and smiled. Welp, there goes everything he thought he knew about his best friend since forever, the laws of nature and his own sexuality. Fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted jeremey and Michael to kiss but its too early :()
> 
> I also wanted Michael to speak Filipino and Jeremy to speak french, what do you think?
> 
> ALSO short mike or tall mike?


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for it taking awhile, school suck lol

Snipping of the scissors was the only thing that cut through the silent tension between them. Jeremey sat on the kitchen counter, his legs crossed under him. He looked down at Michael, whose face was scrunched in concentration. His stubby fingers were wrapped around a large pair of scissors as he carefully cut the blue buds from Jeremy's wrist. It didn't hurt as bad as Jeremy had thought, though it did inch.

“Ok, all done", Michael muttered, snipping the last violet flower. “Without the actual flowers the rest of the stem will just fall off in, like, a couple hours.” He brushed some petals nonchalantly off of Jeremy's pants (which he had recently changed).Jeremy saw Michael’s head raise. Their eyes met for a split second before Michael looked away, blushing. 

He scooped the flowers up, head down, and made his way towards the garbage. “Wait!” Jeremy cringed, knowing he was going to sound crazy. “i-I wanna keep them,” he sputtered. He scanned Michael's face, looking for a sign of confusion. It was an odd request in Jeremy's mind-wanting to keep the flowers that had grown for your arm due to your best friend/future gay lover’s self harm. It was kinda creepy. However, Michael simply smiled. 

“Do you want them in a jar? I know how to make sure they don't wilt.” Jeremy nodded stupidly. “But, how do you know how t-to keep them? You didn't keep yours, did you.” Jeremy could see a light pink bloom up around his cheeks. “Uh, well i might have.” Jeremy giggled, “Could i maybe see them?” Michael looked stunned for a second, then made a strange, breathy noise. “Dummm, uhhhhhhhh, o-ok.” 

Jeremy snickered again, amused at how flustered Michael had gotten. Michael put the flowers in an empty glass vase, filled it with water and set it down. Jeremy leaped off the counter and followed Michael as he headed to his room.   
____________  
“Wow,” jeremy gasped, looking at the jar of flowers Michael had pulled out from under his bed. They were beautiful. The were like Jeremy's but more radiant and full. 

The blue’s were deep and swirling, the purples were vibrant and royal and he could even make out little blips of pink dancing along the small petals.

Jeremy wiped tears from his eyes, suddenly emotional for some reason. He cleared his throat, “Why d-did you keep these,” he asked, voice thick. Michael shook his head, a somewhat what sad expression on his face. “I just wanted… I wanted to be reminded that… if i hurt myself, I'm going to hurt you too,” he chuckled ruefully, “guess that didn't work so well, did it.” 

He scratched the bandages, the looked up at Jeremy. Jeremy could see tears sprout up in those big brown eyes. “Hey, hey it's ok,” he said, “ At least now i know that… that you and I are soul mates.” he swallowed hard at the word, not sure if he enjoyed that taste it put in his mouth. 

Michael didn't seem to notice though. He smiled, “You know you really don't have to call me that, at least not yet.” Jeremy cocked his head, confused. Michael sighed, “ Well, we're gonna end up together someday, but that doesn't mean it's today. Hell, it could be years from now. I just… I don't want you to act like we’re, like, together if you don't want to. You can do whatever you want and date whoever you want. We’ll be together eventually.”

Jeremy gazed at Michael who was looking down, fiddling with a rip on Jeremy's jeans. He could feel heat rising up in his face and he was suddenly very aware of how close they were sitting. “I, umm,” Jeremy stammered, “ how did-why are your flowers so much prettier than mine?” 

He was trying not to think about what Michael had just said, though it wasn't really working. Michael hesitated for a moment. “ I don't really know, but i think that,um, they get more colorful the more you l-love the person that caused them.” Jeremy had to strain to hear him. 

He could basically feel Michael's face heat up in front of him. “oh", Jeremy whispered. Michael raised his head yet again, a blank expression on his face. Jeremy quickly stood to his feet and looked at the clock. “Oh, i-it's time to go to school”,which wasn't exactly a lie. Jeremy's heart sunk as he saw Michael’s face do the same. “I’ll give you a ride", he murmured. He headed out the door and Jeremy followed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think ill make them same height or Michael shorter but like idk
> 
> Also, french Jeremy is coming up :p


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhhhh it's literally 4:42 I'm sorrrryyyy
> 
> Sorry for bad french and Filipino, i intrusted my poor french skills a google translate so... 
> 
> Also. Sorry for sucky writing. :)

Jeremy doodled lazily in his notebook, trying to drown out Mrs.Smith talking about some equation or another. Math had never been his strong suit. 

He thought back to the car ride, how awkward and quiet it was. He cringed silently, thinking of the short and stupid pieces of conversation he tried to throw out. Sadly, none had worked. They had sat in awkward silence for what seemed like a eternity. Was Michael was cringing at it too? Was he was saying the few words he spoke over and over in his mind, trying to figure out how stupid he must be to think that they would break the tension between them. No.

Michael had not looked at him the entire ride and only answered with hums of approval or terribly fake laughs.Jeremy risked a quick glance at a desk at the other side of the room where he expected Michael to be to be sleeping or making those stupid paper origami swans. Instead, he found him with his head in his hands, staring at him longingly. Jeremy quickly looked away, blushing hard. 

Why were things so awkward now? Less than 24 hours ago he was fantasizing of playing video games with his best bro. Now he was fantasizing about ever getting to talk to Michael normally again. Or maybe he was fantasizing about kissing him. Jeremy groaned quietly and shook his head, trying to shake the thought from his mind. He had been thinking about stuff like that in almost all his classes, focusing on Michael’s lips instead of on Christopher Columbus. He couldn't get himself to stop, no matter how hard he had tried. Your straight he thought, uhhh, no, he answered, what about christine? He thought, what about Michael, he answered. On and on and on, a battle raged between his head and his hormones, making him feel dizzy and more tired that he already was.

He picked at the sleeve of his cardigan, then winced as he pulled what remained of a stem. Michael had been right, they had gone away within and hour, though there were still some left. Jeremy suddenly felt a lump in his throat. He suddenly wanted to cry, thinking back to all that had happened that night. He wanted to reach out, to grab Michael and hug him and tell him everything was going to be ok. He wanted to kiss the cuts on his beautiful, to rock him to sleep and sing to him again. 

He risked a glance over at Michael again, who was writing something in his notebook. His arm was covered by sleeves of that stupid red hoodie Jeremy had gotten him for some Christmas or some birthday that had come and gone. Jeremy smiled, running his eyes over all the patches Michael had sewn on throughout the years. “Mr. Heere,” Mrs. Smith’s witchy voice said roughly, “please pay attention”. Jeremy felt his face get hot yet again as he returned to his drawing.  
_______  
Jeremy saw Christine waving frantically him over to their table, where brook,Jenna,Chloe,rich and jake where having a heated argument about the Bee Movie. Michael was sitting on the left Christine, eating quietly and leaving the right seat open. Jeremy slid in and started to eat as well. He suddenly heard Christine gasp loudly. Swallowing hard, he turned his head. “What the fuck was that for?” 

His eyes were drawn to a small slip of paper she was so tightly Jeremy thought she would rip it. Christine looked from Michael to Jeremy, her eyes comically wide. She opened her mouth, then looked to Michael. He shrugged, “He can't read Filipino anyway,” he muttered, returning to his food. Jeremy, thoroughly confused, stared at Christine before grabbing the note. Christine screeched, but let go. The note was extremely rumpled but, luckily, still legible.

Huling gabi natuklasan ni Jeremy tungkol sa bagay na bulaklak at ganap na fucked ako sa ibabaw. Siya ay isang sobrang cute asshole.

Jeremy was blushing like crazy. He had no idea what it meant, but he could read the last couple of words just fine. Cute fucking asshole. It was obvious that Michael was talking about him. He didn't like that. “What the fuck does this mean", he asked in a harsh voice. Christine snickered, then turned to Michael, who shook his head. Jeremy felt a flame of anger ignite in his chest. 

“Oh, so you want to say stuff about me behind my back do you? Well, Michael mouille le lit jusqu'à ce qu'il était 12!” 

Christine burst out laughing, almost falling out of her chair. Michael shot her a confused look, then turned to Jeremy. “What did you say?” Jeremy smiled then shook his head, making Christine laugh even harder. 

Michael face became red as he looked at Christine. He pulled her out of slap happy state and brought his lips to her ear. Jeremy strained to hear Michael's hushed conversation. Christine gasped again, then looked to Jeremy. “Umm, if i heard right… well if i can translate this,” Christine paused, her lips moving wordlessly, then cleared her throat.

“Jeremy pourrait me couvrir dans un jardin complet et je l'aimerais toujours..”

Jeremy felt himself heat up for what felt like the hundredth time that day. 

“Well… um Michael pourrait me renverser et je veux toujours l'embrasser quand je me suis réveillé.” Christine awed loudly, then turned to Michael. She whispered into his ear. Michael had no discernible reaction, making Jeremy's heart sink a little.

“What’s happening here,” Brooke cooed. “Um. I think Michael and I are having a conversation in two different languages and using Chris as our translator.” Brooke laughed. “That's literally the gayest and pettiest thing i have ever fucking heard.” She turned back to the Bee movie argument, which was currently discussing why bee grade standards were do low. 

Jeremy put his head down on the cool table, ketting his thoughts overtake him. Had he really just said he wanted to kiss Michael? In french? It’s not wrong he thought. His mind's eye looked over at Michael, tracing everyone of his features, his beautiful smile and his loose curls. 

His thoughts were cut short by a rush of Filipino spewing from Michael’s mouth as he got up. He turned Jeremy, holding his eye contact for a moment to long, then turned and walked out of the Cafeteria. Christine turned, he face broken with a grin. 

“He wants you to come over after school,”she said softly. Jeremy swallowed hard, feeling his stomach flip and his throat gill with butterfly wings. He got up shakily and walked out of the cafeteria, trying to figure out what the fuck just happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is gonna be INTENSE


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for this, schools been kicking my ass :b  
> Sorry its short-ish

Jeremy tensed up as he saw the PT cruiser slowly pull up to the school's curb. His hands, which had been nervously fidgeting with everything they could get their fingers on, clammed up even more. His breaths were coming out forced and hollow and his heart was pumping so loud he could barely hear himself think. Would he really have a panic attack in the middle of a school parking lot? Probably. 

Jeremy watched, near panicking, as Michael slowly rolled the window down and motioned for Jeremy to walk over. He did. He opened the door and awkwardly fell into the car. It was run down, obviously, and had more scrapes, scratches and stains than jeremy had ever seen. Most of them had been caused by him: a slushie that was too cold or a coffee that was too hot. However, some were caused by Michael, though jeremy didn't know from what. He didn't like thinking about where they could have been from. Luckily, a clearing of a throat drew Jeremy's attention away from the mysterious stains and to to the bright brown eyes of Michael Mell. Those intoxicating eyes of Michael Mell. 

 

“So,”Michael said quietly, “ I was thinking we could go back to my house and, i don't know.. talk?” Jeremy nodded quietly, feeling his throat start to tighten. He turned his eyes to the window, feeling Michael's own eyes burning through him, before finally starting to drive. 

It was slow. Painfully slow. And quiet. Jeremy never really liked the quiet. Sure he liked being quiet, but he also liked the yell of children at a playground, or the conversations that strangely overlapped each other at lunch. He liked listening to music, to singing. He liked listening to Michael’s music, his singing. His voice running over Jeremy's ears like silk as he strummed a ukulele or guitar. He liked it when Michael talked about his music. I wrote a song for you, he would say. I learned some new chords, he would say.

He would tease, telling Jeremy that his own voice was nothing compared to jeremy's, that jeremy was broadway bound, not him. He was wrong. The most Jeremy could do was carry a tune and he had only learned to do that when he joined the drama club. Michael’s voice had always been like that. Always been angelic and strong. Jeremy liked his strong voice. When he spoke with power. It always made Jeremy feel safe; that he finally had someone to protect him. But, Jeremy knew that that voice was going to be used against him soon.

Jeremy felt anxiety slowly bleed throughout his body yet again as he wished, longingly, for the contentedness he had felt moments ago. Jeremy glanced over to Michael, who was driving lazily. What would he do to him? Maybe he would ask Jeremy out right then and there, telling him that he wanted to be with him for forever. No , that was too good. Besides Christine was still the only one he wanted to love. Right? Michael wouldn't do that anyway. He would say he never wanted to see jeremy again, that he would rather die than have jeremy be his soulmate.

Jeremy felt a lump in his throat. Soulmate. Why did this happen? Things were moving far too quickly. Jeremy looked to Michael’s arm, still bandaged and heavy. He then looked down at his own, pulling up his sleeves. Two small green aqastems poked out, looking like blades of grass. One was in the middle of his arm, the other in a strange shape that had once been an R. He picked at them silently, lost in thought.

“Are you gonna get out or what?” Jeremy was slightly startled by Michael’s voice. He hadn't even known they were at his house. He got up,opened the door, stretched and walked into the house. “Hey, wanna get a snack real quick?” Jeremy looked up at Michael and made a sad attempt at a smile. “Sure.” Jeremy made his way into the kitchen and sat down on the counter, just like he had been the night before.

Michael brought a bag of chips to where Jeremy was sitting. They ate quietly, an awkward silence filling the room. Nk, not silence. Jeremy could hear something pitiful and small. Something that sounded like a dog whimpering. Jeremy looked over to find Michael bent over himself, tears streaming down his faced. 

Shocked, Jeremy hopped of the counter. “Hey, hey,” he whispered, trying to sound calm, “ What's w-wrong?” Michael didn't answer. Jeremy wrapped Michael up in his arms yet again, trying to transfer all his love and affection to him. Michael began to cry louder. Jeremy could feel his breath become uneven. “Hey,” he said more urgently, “ You have to tell me what's wrong. Just take deep breaths and-” 

 

“ I am so sorry.” Michael started to heave  
“W-what? Why?” Jeremy followed Michael's eyes, which had been fixed on a spot on the counter. On it laid something small and velvety. A blue and violet petal. Jeremy quickly picked it up and threw it away, before returning to his friend. 

Michael was shaking.  
Bad. Jeremy's mind was panicked as he tried to think of someway to calm him down. He wrapped Michael up in his arms again and rocked slowly. “I'm sorry,I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry-,” Michael blubbered. Over and over and over and over. Jeremy felt his heart clench and his stomach twist and tears sting his eyes. 

He shushed Michael, stroking his hair. Jeremy searched his brain frantically, looking for anything that would help Michael. He put his hands on Michael’s face, lifting his head up. He was shaking, eyes wide and filled with tears. His cheeks were wet and red and his lips were spluttering mindless apologizes a million miles a minute. He was in distress. He was breaking down. Goddammit, why could jeremy help him? What kind of friend would do this? He just needed to make him stop, stop stop stop stop. 

Jeremy closed his eyes, not knowing what else to do. He tilted his head and brought Michael’s face close. Closer. He took a deep breath, and put lips next to Michael’s which were still blabbering. 

Then, he put his lips on his.

Fireworks exploded in jeremy's gut. Yes, yes YES. Any thoughts about Christine or his sexuality or anything that was happening disappeared. It was only him and Michael, no one else, nothing else. Jeremy had expected it to be weird, that he would have to tell Michael that he couldn't be into him. But it felt so right. So, so, so right. 

Michael's lips were soft and warm and wet and perfect. They were perfect to look at, to kiss. Jeremy felt a hand go to his cheek. It was rough and dry. It then went into his hair, pulling it lightly. Jeremy was in heaven. Absolute heaven.

They kissed and kissed for what seemed like eternity or a millisecond. Eventually, Michael pulled away, face red and lips swollen. “Wow,”he said in a hushed, awed voice. Jeremy was about to apologize, feeling all the anxieties come back. But before Jeremy could open his mouth, Michael grabbed his hand and yanked him upstairs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love my boys :3
> 
> The updates are going to be a little more spread out cuz of school but i PROMISE that i will update as often as i can
> 
> THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT <3  
> YOU COMMENTS HIVE ME LIFEEEE


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